Wearing a helmet but I’m breaking my teeth
Picking roses on a battlefield
My body armoured but I’m breaking my bones
Can’t reach the stars without leaving home
I’d blow up the moon just to turn the tide
What’s good being king if you need to hide
Hiding from myself or hiding from you
Only God knows what I should do
On every corner I see Jesus’ face
Yet nobody knows and nobody cares
We’ve been dying all along
The phoenix rises while we die alone
Like a phoenix I will rise again...
Every morning I find myself
Reinventing the dream that keeps me alive
A ‘tall tale’ story for my heart to beat
So nobody knows my big defeat
Like a phoenix I will rise again...
>> back to top
Attawapiskat
Dragging my empty soul through the hostile street
I’m walking upside down with my head on my feet
It’s like that dream where I can’t move
And when I shout your name you slowly fade away
Every night I have that tunnel vision for dying
I see myself falling apart again
Every night it happens
Every night I die
I wash away the pain with a gun in my hand
I have a thousand dreams so I can fill up that hole
I have a loaded gun for my twisted soul
Every night I have that tunnel vision for dying
I see myself falling apart again
And the gods, they betrayed me
High in the sky, they only laughed at me
I’m shooting arrows to the sky
But what if gods don’t die
Am I shouting at nothing?
Am I living in a lie?
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Exorcism
Did I wake the devil,
or you instead?
Did I wake the demons
inside your head?
There never was
a beast under the bed
The monster was waiting
in my head
He’s been lying there for years
tearing me apart
Controlling my thoughts
and the beating of my heart
Let it out…
Did I wake the devil,
or you instead?
Did I wake the demons
inside your head?
Killed by boredom
that fatal disease
Quenching the fire
between the sheets
Corroded heartache
eroded grief
I nail up the door
so you can’t leave
Let it out…
And take it all away…
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Already Lost
I’m already lost
I’m already broken
The absence of you
Makes me feel frozen
The story’s untold
The words unwritten
You and me together
Forever forbidden
Will you fall?
Or will you rise?
Will you lead me to paradise?
Will you show me the highest mountain?
Will it turn out fine?
I don’t believe in heaven
But I do believe in you
Even though heaven seems as far away as you
Open your eyes
Can’t you see
I’m yearning for the angel that you used to be
>> back to top
Rome
Dressed to kill but still feeling naked
Black tie, white tie, and faking your smile
Walking the streets of the ancient city
It only took an hour to burn it to the ground
Now watch your move before you enter the void
The concrete will swallow your heart and soul
Get lost in the vacuum of space and time
Watch the Roman soldiers in the neon light
And the city becomes your mind
And your mind becomes the city
And the city is burning down
And your mind becomes a ruin
And the Gods left ages ago
They won’t hear you calling
Ruin after ruin, they built the city
A labyrinth for your soul to lose its way
It’s a ghost town and your mind is on fire
You’re ready to fall down just like the Roman Empire
A million souls in a million cars
Stuck in the traffic for a million years
The joke is on you with your head on fire
Lost in the echo of a fallen empire
And the city becomes your mind
And your mind becomes the city
And the city is burning down
And your mind becomes a ruin
And the Gods left ages ago
They won’t hear you calling
>> back to top
An old man’s song
(inspired by ‘De Klacht van den Oude’ by Willem Elsschot)
Can’t get used to getting old
The fire burns deep in my bones
And it haunts me every night.
How I tried to be a better me
Wasted my hole life
Trying to believe
But I have to confess
That I am just a mess
There’s no soul
To fill up that hole
It doesn’t ease my conscious
Singing holy words
Don’t need no country
Don’t need no lord
But for every girl
I would sell my soul
In a life of sin
Is where I begin
I know it’s a crime
But I don’t give a dime
I ditch my house and wife
For a sinners’ life
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Falling
Sometimes at night
I feel alone
As if my heart stops beating
Sometimes at night
I feel alone
It feels like falling
Into the deep
Sometimes at night
I see myself
Falling
Into the deep
It feels likes crying
But I’ve got no tears to weep
It feels like dying
Dying in my sleep
My life is on hold
But I keep dreaming
It feels like falling
Into the deep
I’m gonna find my way
Back to the surface
I’m gonna find my way
I’m gonna find you
>> back to top
Hope is for dreamers
When did it start hitting me
Dreams are not meant to be
The man I used to be
Is just a shadow from the past
My hopes and dreams fade away
Midlife crisis comes early today
Something I was hoping for just died
When did I start losing myself
When did I start losing you
When did it start hitting me
Life has no clue
I’m way beyond my highest peak
Midlife crisis comes early this week
Something I was hoping for just died
When did it start hitting me
Dreams are not meant to be
The man I used to be
Is just a shadow from the past
My mind is filled with anger and fear
Midlife crisis comes early this year
Something I was hoping for just died
>> back to top
Bruised
Thinking about a bullet in my head
Or twenty sleeping pills to make it comfy in bed
But then I think about the mess it would make
I wish I could leave without a trace
Hey little monkey
Trying to hide
Hey little devil
Living inside
Monkey see monkey do
Yeah I know where you are
I want to break it, I want to smash it, I want to tear it apart
All you had to do was to push me once more
I didn’t even know I had the anger in store
But when you finally knew how to find your way in
You released the devil living within
Hey little monkey
Trying to hide
Hey little devil
Living inside
Monkey see monkey do
Yeah I know where you are
I want to break it, I want to smash it, I want to tear it apart
How can we
How can we forget
Sometimes I really do but now I don’t want to live
Tonight it feels like I don’t have a heart
I want to break it, I want to smash it, I want to tear it apart
And the devil…
And the devil inside me
>> back to top
Sunflower Sutra
But I still turn
My head to the sun
Still look at where it began
How it fell apart
How you broke my heart
But I’m still standing strong
Because this is where I belong
With my face covered in dust
Still facing the sun
Does it make you cry?
When you ask yourself why?
Are you still facing the sun?
Are you still having your fun?
And that’s how it goes
It’s the way things look from below
In the shadow, pushing my rock
Upon that hill
Does it make you cry?
When you ask yourself why?
Are you still facing the sun?
Are you still having your fun?
>> back to top
Harvest moon
There's a bag full of promises
And a bag full of lies
And then things get mixed up
So why would you act surprised?
And you know that I'm dying inside
And I know that you feel the same
But there's nothing left to save
You rolled the dice and lost the game
Hear me crying out at the harvest moon like a moondog
Do you hear me crying out your name
It's a cruel game we're playing
And we both know it's a lie
It always ends the same
With just another lonely night
Hear me crying out at the harvest moon like a moondog
Do you hear me crying out your name
You reap what you sow...
("But they never teach you how hard the pavement is." - Charles Bukowski)
>> back to top
Tension
Every day I think about it
And every night I watch myself die
I just can’t go around it
Staying alive was my biggest lie
Am I back among the living
Or back among the dead
Did I wake up from the nightmare stuck inside my head
This is what is happening to me
I can see the lies
High in the sky
Heaven waits for me
Like the promises you made
But there’s no tomorrow
And there’s no today
We feel the tension rising
While the past fades away
I won’t wait anymore...
I won’t wait any longer
>> back to top
Cold fever
I count the seconds
I count the days
I see them coming
Before they slip away
I count the nights
I count my dreams
I'm forever lost
In eternal sleep
1, 2, 3, 4...
You said the words like a promise
But you really told me lies
You said the words like a promise
But they really were just lies
Dark clouds in the distance
Shades of doubt like a thunderstorm
Dark thoughts cloud my vision
Cold fever in my darkest hour
You said the words like a promise
But you really told me lies
You said the words like a promise
But they really were just lies
>> back to top
Silent Call
Swallow away all your fears
Don’t you choke on your tears
I know you’ve done it
A million times before
Erase my face, erase my name
Strike through the shame
Fill in the blanks with your never ending grace
Poison runs through your veins
You play hide and seek
Before you kill me in silence
Your own fear turns you inside out, back and forth
You can’t escape your own whispering haunting call
Your silence is killing me
You destroy me piece by piece
Your heart and soul are made of stone
Like the bricks of the wall that keeps me outside
Outside your world
And you whisper my name...
>> back to top
System Failure
We fought our ghosts
We fought our demons
We build our castle on the ruins of the past
But then the now
Became eternity somehow
We can’t escape what we left behind
Please unchain me
Can’t you release me
Please take away this all-consuming doubt
Please unchain me
Can’t you release me
Please take away this all-consuming doubt
You know I tried so hard
But I will fail you
You know I tried so hard
But I will hurt you
I know you tried so hard
But you will fail me
I know you tried so hard
But you will let me down
We’re wide eyed dreamers
Yet we couldn’t see
The nightmare lurking
Deep inside of me
I couldn’t help you
I couldn’t help myself
We saw it fade away
Like liquid in our hands
Please unchain me
Can’t you release me
Please take away this all-consuming doubt
Please unchain me
Can’t you release me
Please take away this all-consuming doubt
You know I tried so hard
But I will fail you
You know I tried so hard
But I will hurt you
I know you tried so hard
But you will fail me
I know you tried so hard
But you will let me down
>> back to top
Dead tree
It used to be a day of celebration
It used to be a day of expectations
You danced naked before the tree
So everyone could see
How much you had grown
But you only grew older
But you only grew smaller
I only saw you slipping away
And the tree is now dead anyway
Is it any better than me?
I can’t believe you did this
I can’t believe this is you
>> back to top
Detached
Falling in love means falling apart
It always ends up with a broken heart
It’s been fifteen years since I’ve written these words
But now they remind me of how it still hurts
It’s the same story with a different twist
That same old song in a different mix
It would be a shame if we didn’t try
It would be a shame if we let it die
I was on fire
But I forgot how it burns
I wanted to hold you
But I said the wrong words
I wanted you too much and too fast
And then it was over before it could last
I tried to climb your mountain but I took the fall
I pushed you away because I wanted it all
(In my heart a brutal beating)
First you learn how to forget
It becomes easy
Then you learn not to regret
You destroy the pieces
I’m detached from your gravity
I’m floating into space
A million falling stars around me
I can wish whatever I want
Will you catch me when I fall
Will you catch me when I fall in love again
>> back to top
Anywhere out there
Today is a sad day
Because I don’t believe in heaven
But now I wish those stories were true
Because I really would like to meet you
Again sometime
Somewhere
Anywhere out there
How I wish I could see you again sometime
Would you tell me the secret and give me a sign
From that other world where you’re still mine
Like a light in the dark
I can see you
Like a light in the dark
I want to see you
Again sometime
Somewhere
Anywhere out there
Like a light in the dark
I can see you
Patched up together
With golden glue
The lines on your skin
Stories unfold
Beautifully broken
Shining like gold
>> back to top
Nowhere train
I fool myself again and again
Because the light in the tunnel was just a train
And the train was running the other way
And the light was only fading away
Seen from above it’s like i’m doing this dance
Going up and down while turning around
It’s a vicious circle and I can’t get out
Locked in darkness, lost in doubt
In the bardo my life remains on hold
Stuck in the middle, out in the cold
So let’s start the fire, let’s start that war
Now I know that’s what i’m here for
That little spark of hope inside
Is it made by the rain or made by sunlight
What if the light was just a train
At the end of the tunnel still down the drain
Lying gets easy when you know the truth
Some hollow words for a greater good
It’s a vicious circle and you know the words
Say them on repeat even if it hurts
I have a happy pill against the pain
It makes me feel like i’m on that train
Driving through the tunnel without getting out
Still locked in darkness, lost in doubt
I’m on a train to nowhere
I’m on a train and I want to get out
>> back to top
I can feel every part
It’s not just the heart
I can feel every part
My whole body is dying on me
And every beat of my heart
Sounds like it’s falling apart
My whole body is aching on me
Pray the lord my soul to keep
I need something to rock me to sleep
Something to erase it all
Pray the lord to catch my fall
And when I read those words
I can’t swallow because it hurts
It’s the cancer growing down my throat
>> back to top
Let’s start a war
Let’s start a war
Let’s start a fire
Let’s start a riot
Let’s start a war
Let’s start something worth fighting for
Let’s start a riot
Let’s start a fire
A revolution of desire
Let’s build the future and burn the past
How do you break a chain
If it’s all an illusion
How do you break the walls
If you built them yourself
>> back to top
Stuck in the bardo
Intervening moments
Between life and death
Suffering in samsara
From conception until the last breath
A mirror of our souls
intermediate states
Where shamans visit to speak
Liberation stays earthbound
From conception until the last breath
A mirror of our souls
We’re all stuck in the bardo
Through the truth of the buddha, dharma and sangha
dering zakar tsé zang la
>> back to top
Erase me
It’s not the distance that makes you smaller
It’s the memory changing overtime
How I look at things from a different angle
How everything you touched eventually died
Erase it all
Take me away
Pray the lord my soul to keep
I need something to rock me to sleep
Something to erase it all
Pray the lord to catch my fall
>> back to top
Imprisoned
Was it heaven or was it hell
Was I enchanted under your spell
Can we run away from the dark days
Can we chase our dreams like we chase our ghosts
Can we take back the years that we have lost
Can we find back the path that we once crossed
Can we erase the dark days
Can we erase the past
Please show me how to get out
Can we take back the years that we have lost
Can we find back the path that we once crossed
Can we run away from the dark days
Can we run away from the past
Was it heaven or was it hell
Was I enchanted under your spell
Am I in this place forever
Is this the final stage
Am I free to leave
Am I free to go
>> back to top
Save me from the void
Everyday starts the same
Up and ready for another game
Every time that same old story
Reaching out for that promised glory
It’s a game I’ll never win
Because I’m way to scared to begin
All hope is gone but the pain remains
Running is hard with your legs in chains
I am lost in confusion
I am lost in the dark
Can you save me from the void inside
There’s a void under my skin
Where I loose myself time and time again
I felt like a lion but it faded fast
How can I change myself if I can’t change the past
How long have I been falling
Before I finally hit the ground
How long have I been lying
Telling myself I’m feeling safe and sound
I chained myself in this endless routine
I created the dark so I wouldn’t see
The hell I tried to escape
Is that lonely place inside of me
Losing myself time and time again
In the void under my skin
I felt like a winner but it faded fast
You can’t change the future when you’re stuck in the past
>> back to top
Let’s start a fire
I’ve made this bardo myself
It’s just a wall inside
I should know my way out
How do you break a chain
If it’s all an illusion
How do you break the walls
If you built them yourself
Let’s start a riot
Let’s start a war
Let’s start something worth fighting for
Let’s start a riot
Let’s start a fire
A revolution of desire
Let’s build the future
And burn the past
It’s just a wall inside
I should know my way out
>> back to top
All lyrics by John Wolf
(Pictures by Ghilain Vermeersch / Pieter Clicteur)
